Terribly Poetic

I’ve been reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and below is my observation from the section I’ve read today. I thought this was a great place to start dialogue or writing back on here.

Jeremiah 1:4-5, “The Word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’”

God knew me before He made me. Again, God knew you and me before we existed.

God has been with me from the very start. Before I knew Him, before anything. It also says that God then knew what I would do before I was born too! You might just think this is written to Jeremiah, but Eph 2:10 tells us that we are created to do good works. God setup and prepared good things for us to do long before we existed. Sure I’ve heard all this before, but stop and think about how crazy it really is; that the God of the universe knew each of us before we existed and that HE prepared God thinks for us to do. I know that I have past by some of these good things before and I’m sure you have too. For me, one of the reasons I don’t do them, is because I think I won’t do a good job or that the job really should be done by someone else. Firstly, these good things are prepared for each of us and if God tells me to do it, it means it was created for me, not someone else. Secondly, we don’t need to be scared of failing. This is the same problem Jeremiah had and God told him, “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.” It goes on to say that God touches his mouth and gives him the words he needs. Remember that God prepared these good things and that He will also guide us to do them as He wants. It is HIS plan not ours. Now that is crazy.

It’s such a simple truth, yet I know I fail at it.

The toughest question that has come from this section of the book so far….

The greatest good on this earth is God. God’s one goal for us is Himself. The best things in life are gifts from the One who loves us (God), but we need to ask ourselves if we are in love with God or just His stuff? Do I love the things He provides me with, the feeling He gives me when I succeed at a good work He gave me or do I earnestly love God Himself? I’ll be wrestling with that for the next while. What about you?

So I glanced at the calendar and realized that it’s March…. What? How did we get here so fast? It seems like winter is fading away and I hardly remember it. Maybe it was all the craziness of Norah’s journey that made everything seem to pass by so fast. Either way I am now looking at the calendar and the huge amounts of things on it as Spring brings many things for us. House renovations getting done; which will bring a slew of jobs for me soon; to spring LIT retreat, youth group visits, lots of R/C Truck Events, planning programming, beginning to start thinking about video for this summer, and the list goes on and on. And this doesn’t even include all the things on the calendar for our family. Luckily one of those is a family vacation in Edmonton for Easter. I am really hoping this will help put my head on straight before Spring really hits and I start heading out to camp for rentals, staff training, etc, etc.

As always, the think to take a backseat is this site. Many are probably checking back here for updates on Norah. But she is doing so well that I forget to tell everyone that. She’s great. Growing, getting chubbier everyday. So makes us all smile each day. I wish you could all come cuddle her and see for yourself just how much she has changed. Pictures are cute (I guess I should post more too) but they don’t really show how much she has changed in the past month. She has healed so well that we are starting to pick her up under her arms now. So glad for that. Makes it easier to cuddle with her. Before we know it she will be rolling over.

I wish I could write something profound and earth shattering here. But life really seems to be “back to normal” for the first time in a long time. And by normal I really mean busy. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Before you know it, it will be summer and we’ll be moved back to camp for the summer.

This might just be my next addiction. Could see this thing racing nicely on carpet. Have a place to race indoors in the winter and on road in the summer too. Best of both worlds.

Or this…Can you say Fast and the Furious?

I can picture onroad racing at Ranger already. A guy can dream big can’t he?

Well life hasn’t slowed down much around the Grunau household. Seems we got back from Edmonton and have been busy with Norah and Libby. Then add work ontop of that and I have really good excuses for not posting on here. However, I do apologize for not posting since we’ve been home. Shame on me I guess.

Anyways, first I will update you on Norah. This past week we have seen a big change in Norah. She is learning well how to drink from a bottle and has already begun to learn how to nurse again. While we haven’t had her weight checked we are certain she is gaining as she is looking more ‘chubby’ each day. Praise God. This transition has been alot smoother than we thought and are so happy that Norah has been off the feeding tube for over a week now. She is more alert, more cheerful and gives us alot more smiles than before the surgery. It almost feels like we have a new baby at home. We still have some appointments and check ups for her, but the Cardiologist has given us the next appointment of 6months from now!!! Libby is learning to have fun with Norah too. She is always wanting to help out, or ‘teach’ Norah something. This is just the beginning of Libby getting Norah into trouble! I keep wondering what I will catch those two doing in a year or two.

As we try to settle into a normal routine of life, we are extremely thankful for Jessica Benson having organized supper meals for us for the first couple weeks when we got home. We have enjoyed them alot and look forward to another few days. This is just one of the many many blessings that have been poured out to our family through this journey. Thank you to all of you that have donated funds, cooked meals, phone calls, and most importantly your prayers. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful and caring people.

Words cannot fully express our thanks. We hope that one day we will be able to have the opportunity to bless someone else going through the same things our family has gone through.

So this marks the beginning of the end of this chapter. Until next time.

Today was the day that we finally moved out of the PICU. It was very refreshing to get away from the PICU as it can be a very stressful place to be. Although we did enjoy our nurses there.

We have moved into the Cardic Care Unit and share a room with another little girl. Norah is doing really well. Our biggest struggle and prayer request is that Norah would learn to feed. We have gone back to feeding through the NG tube as we did before surgery. Thankfully we are comfortable with this and will be able to go home continuing this routine. Norah has lost the suck and swallow ability as we told that this “skill” can be lost rather quickly. Thankfully she still loves her soother, so we will have to meet with a speech path who can help to reteach Norah to swallow. Please pray that she can be a fast learner. While this won’t be a hurdle to us coming home, we would like to learn as much as possible before we leave.

The only difference to being off the PICU; besides not having 1-1 care anymore; is that there is a bed for Dawn to room in with Norah during the night. However, this also means that Daryl has to go back alone to the Ronald McDonald House alone. While not a huge deal, it is difficult to leave. Hopefully our little family can be ALL back together soon.

We got a chance to talk to Libby this morning. She is loving it over at Grandma and Grandpa Klauses. However, we are all missing each other, especially Mom.

Thank you for your prayers. Until next time.

Today has been a very very long day. One that I hope we will never have to go thru again….

It started very early at 5am as we had to give Norah her last of 3 sterile baths to prepare her for surgery. Then it was off to the hospital to be there for admitting at 7am, with surgery scheduled for 8:20am. We were very prompt and actually got to the hospital early. When we got to the pre-admissions clinic we again got news that it would be delayed till 11am. So we began the first round of waiting. However, this waiting was with Norah sleeping, smiling and being her happy self. Plus Dawn got in some cuddles before surgery, which she wasn’t going to turn down for a second.

Finally the time came and we got escorted to the room just outside the OR. And we waiting again. This time it was very short. A wonderful O.R. nurse took a picture of the three of us (seen to the left, its early in the day and we look tired already) before we had to do the hard job of handing Norah into the nurses arms. Tears fell, but we knew that she was in God’s hands and that we where completely helpless to the situation. All we had was the comfort of our wonderful Saviour. But. This. was. hard.

Psalm 139:13, reminded us that God was in control and that He is a good God.

So the longest day truly began after this. Waiting.
We killed some time by getting some food. We were both starving, having been up since 5am and it was now 11am and felt like 1pm. So we went to get something to eat. Then out of nowhere Dawn had an allergic reaction to cashews. It came literally out of nowhere as she was eating an Italian Pannini. Who thought pesto sauce has cashews in it? Really? Thankful with some Benadryl and a little time she quickly began to feel better. Albeit still hungry having “lost” the food she ate for lunch, but having lost her appetite. I’m sure later tonight she will make up for it.

After lunch time seemed to go quickly all of a sudden, but then at around 4hrs time it just stopped. We waited, and we waited. Then after almost 5+ hours of waiting the surgeon walked in. Finally.

The surgeon was very happy with how things went. The hole in her heart (actually a VSD and a small ASD as well) was very large and was patched up, then he was able to look at the Pulmonary Valve and see that it is indeed very abnormal. They did a repair of the valve as well which added to the length of the surgery. He told us that they will have to monitor this valve over the course of her life and that there is a 10-20% chance that she will have to have surgery to repair it again as this repair could cause ‘leakage’ overtime. Not the news we wanted to hear, but he did say that she would led a normal life and be healthy and active. It could be decades later that she might need surgery again. So overall good news.

When the surgery was over, Norah’s heart is very strong and she came off the heart-lung bypass machine very well. The surgeon was very happy with this. We got to meet more of the nurses taking great care of Norah in the PICU and are getting to know them as in PICU there is a 1-1 ratio so the nurse is always at her side with us. Right now she is on a ventilator to help her breath and everything is looking good and they hope to take her off that tomorrow morning if all goes well over night.

Thank you for all your prayers. We really felt them today. This is the end of a very long day and we will rest peacefully.

Here is the first post by Dawn as she wrote on our Carepage….

Well, we made it to Edmonton safe and sound!  We had a great dinner with my cousin and her husband and now are all settled in the mennonite guest home.  It is a nice big house with about 8 guest rooms.  It is very clean, and we have a nice room.  It is very quiet here, and all the people staying here (that we have met anyways) are all older.  The only thing is there is no tv or internet and they actually don’t even want you using it in your rooms.  As you can imagine, Daryl is going crazy!  It’s a good thing we got the data plan iphone!
So tomorrow is our first (of many) busy day(s)!  We are planning on leaving here at 6:15am, and then all the pre operation testing will start at 7am.  We have been told to expect to be there until around 1 or 2 in the afternoon (over 6 hours… YIKES!).  The dr’s will give her a mild sedative so they can do tests and get a nice clear picture of her heart.  Then we will meet both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist and get a tour of the PICU (where Norah will stay after the surgery).
So far our spirits are up, and I am personally looking forward to tomorrow to get some questions answered and see where we will be.  I would just love to zoom ahead a few weeks and forget about this part, but I know that the future will come soon enough on it’s own!  I was just telling Daryl today that I don’t know how my heart can feel so strong and so weak all at the same time!  I am amazed at how well I am taking this all (and I know it’s only through God’s strength – thanks for praying!), and at the same time I feel completely helpless, weak and out of control.  At the same time I have been reminded that it’s a good thing I don’t have control, and I can also completely trust the One who is!  Praise God, that I know my loving Father is watching over Norah, because I don’t know if I could handle this otherwise!
Well I’d better go, Norah is quite unhappy right now and we are going to try to get her to sleep.  I feel bad for the gentleman that is next door to us…. I’m sorry!
Here’s hoping we get a good sleep in tonight!
I’ll post here tomorrow to let you all know what time the surgery is happening on Thursday!

-Dawn

So it’s been awhile since I’ve updated everyone. Mostly because not much has changed around here. This will probably be my last website update while in Saskatoon. The next ones will come more frequently when we get to Edmonton. Holy Cow we are leaving for Edmonton on Tuesday and Norah is having open heart surgery!!! I’m still having a hard time wrapping my brain around this all. Somehow I haven’t really freaked out completely yet, however stress levels are obviously higher around our house. Even Libby has noticed a time or two where Mom and Dad seem to be different, yes, that’s how I’ll put it, different. Please pray that we continue to have peace and that stress levels can stay “normal.” Wait, what the heck is normal stress levels in a time like this?

I’ll just stop writing like that as I might have begun the “freak out” if I kept that up. Whew. Anyways, thank you so much for those that have already helped us out financially. We have raised over $700 to help cover expenses. If you still wish to donate please visit here and just add a comment for what the funds are for. These funds will go through my work at Ranger Lake Bible Camp which has set this up, all gifts will be tax receiptable. Again, thanks so much for those that have helped out.

We will be doing our best to keep everyone informed about what’s happening while in Edmonton. From my twitter to facebook to this site you should see updates. Also Dawn has setup a “Carepage” here, which is a website hosted by the hospital as we are told internet in the hospital has been known to block facebook for some weird reason. We shouldn’t have issues with hospital internet as I have added a data plan onto my iphone and we will be getting most of our internet that way. So their should be no problems with us updating in a few different places.

Thank you for all your prayers and support. We look forward to coming home and celebrating when this is all over.

Praise God! We have been granted a surgery date in Edmonton of February 4th. This is sooner than we where expecting and it just goes to show how God is listening to our prayers and looking after our little girl. Right now we are still excited to have a date set and the reality of what is going to happen in surgery isn’t setting in yet. We are still at peace that God is in control and we know that He is with us every step of the way. We are so thankful for getting this date as early as we have.

On a related note: Yesterday while attending the Saskatoon Evangelical Youth Workers monthly meeting, myself and my family received an outpouring of love and prayers as I was surrounded and prayed over. I don’t think it is a coincidence that we got word of surgery date the very next day. God is so awesome! When I told them about how we had applied at Kinsmen Telemiracle for funding to cover our travel, accommodations, and other expenses they felt led by God that the Body of Christ should help rather than relying on another organization to help a brother in Christ. Therefore, Ranger Lake Bible Camp is taking donations to help cover our expenses. We have already received over $200 and are feeling so blessed by this act of love and generosity. If you would like to help with our expenses, which could be close to $1000, you may donate online to Ranger Lake here and just add a note in the comment box to let us know that’s what the funds are for.

Thank you for all your prayers and support. Please remember to mark down Feb 4 on your calendars to pray for us. Also please be praying that our family and Norah stays healthy. Any sickness, even if only small, will delay her surgery. Which also means that if you are visiting us, please just stay away if you have any cold or flu symptoms, and remember that we still love you and will happily have you come visit us after the surgery is over or you get better.

Donate to Ranger Lake Bible Camp to help the Grunau’s

Most of you know this already from my many facebook status updates this past week, but in case you missed it. On Tuesday we went into the hospital to have Norah’s NG tube put in. We have been trying to do whatever we could to avoid this, but Norah just wasn’t gaining weight. We realized that this was the correct decision and as unpleasant as it seemed, it was necessary. God continues to give us peace about how He is walking us through this journey.

Tuesday late afternoon the tube went in. Watching this was the hardest thing I’ve had to see Norah go through. However, once it was over (it is very quick), and once Norah stopped screaming and we stopped crying, it really wasn’t as bad as we thought. Norah actually screamed louder each time they had to take her blood pressure. So after a couple nights in the hospital we finally got to leave. We had to stay for so long to get the feedings down, learn how to use the feeding pump, how to put in the NG tube (Dawn did it once), and to make sure she was gaining weight in a healthy manner. On the first day she actually gained weight too quickly. Weird. Here we had been trying to get her to gain weight and she goes and pigs out first day in the hospital. What we didn’t know was that gaining weight too quickly could be really bad. So they got that figured out and we are at home now. Norah is taking to the new feeding schedule very well and had gained 8oz just in the time at the hospital! We are so thankful to all the nurses, dietitians, and doctors at the hospital. They made our short time there so much easier. It makes me appreciate all the nurse friends I have so much more. Who knows, maybe I’ll go back there to volunteer some day.

So now we just continue to wait for Norah’s surgery. And we also hope we can figure out how to get some rest in the meantime. Please pray that a date would be given to us soon. Thank you for all your prayers and support.